


Stand By

by SailorChibi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Play, Baby Tony, Big Brother Thor, Big brother bruce, Crying, Cuddling, Daddy Steve, Diapers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Infantilism, Nightmare, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Pacifiers, Panic Attacks, Post Civil War, Protective Bruce Banner, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Thor, Teddy Bears, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, all the love for tony okay, civil war spoilers, drops, non sexual age play, non sexual infantilism, self soothing, spoilers for civil war trailers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 13:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6007990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorChibi/pseuds/SailorChibi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a couple years since the fight over the Registration Act. Steve thinks everything has finally settled down. Steve has no idea just how good Tony is at hiding his fear towards the Winter Soldier. It all comes out during a movie night, when Tony drops hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stand By

**Author's Note:**

> This is post Civil War, based on that appalling trailer released last week.
> 
> Note: JARVIS is alive, Pietro is alive, Coulson is alive. They all live together in the Tower. Clint does not have a family. Assume any other inaccuracies you see are me blatantly ignoring canon.

The screen of the television goes dramatically dark, and Steve is left blinking rapidly when it explodes into color - literally; the characters on screen are doing everything to blow each other away in a blaze of glory. He takes the opportunity to glance around the room at the team. His team. Clint and Natasha are curled into the large armchair together. Bruce is sitting on the ground in front of them, leaning back against the chair with Natasha's fingers in his hair. Thor and Sam are occupying the other couch, stretched out fully. Bucky is on Steve's right, hogging the popcorn bowl, and Tony is on Steve's left - or at least, he started out on Steve's left. He's now migrated into a position that can _not_ be comfortable with his head on Steve's lap.

The Vision, Rhodey, Wanda and Pietro are all off on a mission, so for once it's just the original team, Sam and Bucky. It's kind of nice. Like a flashback to before everything went to hell. But also better, because now all of that is behind them. He smiles to himself and, as the characters on screen start screaming, shifts a little. He's trying to be subtle to avoid waking Tony, because he knows Tony hasn't slept much for the past week. He's been strung out between an increased workload and nightmares. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. Tony's face wrinkles and then his eyes open slowly.

"Sorry," Steve mouths, knowing that any words will be lost in the explosions and screaming from the television, but Tony just stares at him for a long moment, eyebrows furrowed, like he doesn't even know who Steve is. Then Bucky moves, leaning forward to grab his drink off the coffee table, and Tony reacts. The sound that comes out of him is one that Steve has never heard him make before: too high-pitched to be a yelp, but definitely pure fear. Tony jolts up, eyes wide and panicked, and falls off the couch. 

"Tony!" Steve exclaims.

"What the hell?" Bucky says at the same time, looking at Tony like he's lost his mind.

Tony scrambles to his feet, uncoordinated and flailing, and either he's still half asleep and seeing things that aren't really here, or - Steve's heart skips a beat when Tony backs up a step, nearly tripping over the coffee table. His fingers grab at the hem of his shirt, worrying at the fabric in a very familiar way, and tears are welling up. This isn't just a nightmare. It's a drop, which is kind of like an entirely different nightmare. Steve stands up, intending to usher Tony away from the group so that they can handle this in private, but Tony flinches away from him.

"No," he whimpers, shaking. "Please... don't."

"JARVIS, pause the movie," Bruce says, and now the rest of the team is definitely paying attention. Tony doesn't even seem to realize that they're in the room, though. He's still staring at Bucky and Steve like they're going to attack at any moment. 

"Tony. It's okay. You're safe here," Steve says, forcing aside the worry and alarm to sound calm. As oblivious as Tony can be normally, he's very attuned to emotion in his little headspace. He tends to pick up on and react to whatever Steve is feeling. If Steve is freaking out, it's going to send Tony into a full-on meltdown. And they've been there so many times already, and Steve has no desire to go back if they can avoid it. 

Especially in front of the team. Even though they all know about Tony, and most of them have been around him at least a couple of times, Tony still gets uncomfortable around anyone but Steve.

Tony shakes his head, his breathing coming a little faster. "No. Please..."

"Please what?" Steve asks, not understanding.

Terrified brown eyes dart from Steve to Bucky and back again. "The bad man is gonna shoot me again."

Bucky freezes. So does Steve. In fact, it feels like all of the air gets sucked out of the room. No one moves. Tony's shaking gets worse, until, with a sob, he breaks. He sprints across the room, heading for what used to be the bar. It's still in a state of being halfway remodeled, because adult Tony tore out the bar itself but never bothered to finish the project, and the large cupboards underneath that used to be for storage are still there. Tony beelines for them, scrabbling at the doors until he gets them open and can squeeze himself inside. The door is yanked shut behind him and immediately there's a flurry of terrified sobs as Tony dissolves into tears.

It's Natasha who moves first, climbing out of her chair with an unfair amount of grace and padding over to Steve on bare feet. She punches him hard in the arm and hisses, "Don't just stand there, dumbass. Tony's upset. Go talk to him."

"Right," Steve says, snapping out of his dumbstruck state, and rushes across the room. Opening the door when Tony is this upset is not a good idea, so he just crouches down and whispers, "Tony, baby, please come out. No one is going to hurt you, I promise. Tony? Sweetheart?"

"No," Tony sobs. "He's gonna shoot me again an' you won't stop him, just like before."

Steve flinches, because Tony's right: he hadn't stopped Bucky last time. No one had. "He's not going to shoot you, Tony," he says pleadingly, knowing the words are pathetic, because Tony obviously doesn't believe him. 

He thought they were past this. Tony and Bucky are actually friends now, though it was well after Tony and Steve had started dating before the two of them even became cordial to each other. Now, they willingly spend time together. Bucky even goes down to the workshop every once in a while to marvel over some of Tony's more futuristic creations, and Tony built Bucky a new arm from scratch and does all of the routine maintenance on it. The last time the WSC broached the topic of stringing Bucky up because the Winter Soldier made an appearance during an Avenger mission, Tony was the one who stepped in and made them back off. 

Had Tony done all of that while thinking that the Winter Soldier - no, that _Bucky_ might still turn around and shoot him?

"Tony..."

The heart-wrenching crying is getting to him, but Steve doesn't know how to make it stop. He's not even sure Tony recognizes him as his daddy right now. He's never been in this position before. Normally, when Tony is little, Steve is his whole world. He can always make Tony smile, and Steve takes a lot of pride in the fact that he's the one who can make any problems go away. 

This time, he can't.

"Steve." Bruce sets a hand on his shoulder, gently guiding him away from the cupboard. Steve stumbles before he gets to his feet. Natasha and Bucky are still standing by the couch. Bucky's expression is wrecked with guilt. Clint and Sam are keeping their distance, but Sam comes just close enough to grab Steve's arm and physically tow him across the room. Which is no easy feat, considering that everything in Steve is screaming for him to get back to Tony. 

Thor crouches down before the cupboard. "Young one, you are amongst friends. No one will hurt you. I give you my word that if anyone tries, I will protect you."

Tony's cries stop just for a second. "R-Really?"

"Yes," Thor says, sincere to the end.

"So will the Hulk," says Bruce, leaning down over Thor's shoulder. "Is it okay if I open the door? Tony?"

There's a soft whimper, which Bruce apparently takes as agreement, because he quickly pulls the cupboard door open. Tony blinks at them, eyes red and swollen from crying, and launches himself into Thor's arms with another whimper. Thor hugs him tightly, patting Tony's trembling back reassuringly, and pulls his cape off to wrap around Tony's shoulders. Tony just buries his face into Thor's shirt and cries and cries.

Steve doesn't want to leave. Sam and Clint have to pull him out of the room. He sinks into a seat at the kitchen table, dizzy with guilt and grief. "I had no idea Tony was that scared of Bucky," he says numbly.

"That much animosity doesn't just disappear," Clint points out. He's twitchy, like he wants to go for his bow and shoot out his extra energy, but he stays in the kitchen. "I'm guessing Tony's probably been trying to ignore it and talk himself into being okay around Bucky. And he probably is, for the most part. We all know how much the right nightmare can fuck you up."

"Having the Winter Soldier appear during that mission two days ago probably didn't help," Sam says quietly, folding his arms. "It was just the recipe for a perfect storm, Steve."

What Sam is saying makes sense, but that does little to alleviate Steve's guilt. He wouldn't have even known if it weren't for Tony dropping like that. He would have kept thinking that everything was fine now. Tony is just too good at keeping things locked up inside. Not that that's an excuse. He should have guessed.

"Hey. Knock it off. Beating yourself up isn't helping Tony," says Sam, nudging him none too gently in the leg with his foot. "When you told me about Tony, you said that you were his primary caregiver during these kinds of situations, right? You said that Tony wasn't 100% comfortable with anyone else. That means Tony needs you to focus on him right now. He might be depending on Thor and Bruce to protect him, but he still needs you to comfort him."

"But he didn't even want to see me!" Steve protests.

"Sam's right, man," Clint says. "Get over yourself. Tony was freaked out before, but Bucky's not in the room now."

"He's not?" Steve didn't even notice him leaving.

Clint shakes his head. "Nat took him aside. Figured it was best to give Tony a little break right now until he gets his head back on straight. However long that'll take."

"He must be going crazy," Steve mutters, dropping his head into his hands. A little part of him wants to go make sure Bucky's okay, but it's drowned out by the much bigger worry for Tony. Bucky will be fine; one of the requirements for letting Bucky live in the Tower was therapy with one of SHIELD's best. He's been slowly learning coping mechanisms, and Natasha is with him so nothing too bad will happen. But Tony... he's completely vulnerable right now. When Tony's in his little headspace, he doesn't just rely on Steve for things like food or diaper changes: he depends on Steve to _care_ for him. 

Frankly speaking, it's always surprised Steve that Tony can let himself become that vulnerable. In light of what's happened today, it's nothing short of amazing. 

He looks up as Bruce appears in the doorway. Bruce's arms are folded and he doesn't look very happy. He says, "Steve, you need to get out here. Tony needs you. Thor and I have managed to calm him down, but he's looking for you now."

"Are you sure he wants to see me? He was scared of me before."

"He wasn't scared of you. He was scared of Bucky, and he thought that you would just stand by and let Bucky do whatever he wanted. If you want to keep having this kind of relationship with Tony, I suggest you get your ass out here and tell him otherwise." It's unlike Bruce to swear, which suggests just how upset he is.

Steve stands, legs a little weak, and follows Bruce back into the living room. Thor has moved back to the couch and has Tony on his lap. Tony is still crying, but seems to be listening to whatever Thor is saying to him - and it's the quietest that Steve can ever remember Thor being. Both of them look up as Steve and Bruce come in. Tony's eyes widen a little, but true to what Bruce said he no longer looks scared. If anything, he just looks like any baby that desperately wants a hug from his daddy. That, Steve knows how to provide.

"Tony, I'm so sorry," he says, his voice breaking a little, and Tony's eyes well up with tears again. He lifts his arms up and Steve hurries over to him, scooping him up off of Thor's lap and hugging him tightly. Tony's arms wind around his neck and he starts to cry again.

Steve's made a lot of mistakes in his life, but he's not really sure how he keeps fucking up with Tony so badly. He sinks down onto the couch beside Thor and rocks Tony back and forth. Tony just keeps crying, fingers now plucking and rubbing at the fabric of Thor's cape in an attempt to self-soothe that breaks Steve's heart. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby. I would never let anyone hurt you, Tony. No one. Not Bucky, not anyone. I swear," he says, knowing these are words he should have said a long time ago. Most of the time, Tony is perfectly capable of protecting himself. But that doesn't mean Steve doesn't want to protect him.

"Here," Bruce says after a while, handing Steve a pacifier. Tony accepts the pacifier, whimpering a little, and finally begins to quiet down. He grabs onto Steve's shirt with one hand, still worrying at Thor's cape with the other. 

"Thanks," Steve says, meaning for more than just the pacifier, and Bruce flashes him a small smile.

"You are welcome, Captain," Thor says, patting Steve's shoulder just a little too hard. "Perhaps now would be a fortuitous time to get the little one more comfortable."

"Yeah. Could you..." Steve trails off, awkward. He's never been afraid of being alone with Tony before. Hell, 90% of their time when Tony is little is spent alone. Every once in a while one of the team will come visit, or Tony will want to venture out to the team floor, but for the most part they respect Tony's unspoken wish for it to be just him and Steve. In fact, now that Steve thinks about it, the only one who has never met baby Tony is Bucky. He thinks, with a strong sinking feeling, there's probably been a good reason for that. 

"Of course," Thor says after exchanging a glance with Bruce. "I would be honored to accompany you."

"Thanks," Steve says again, lifting Tony easily as he stands. Thor follows him into the elevator, and they stand in silence broken only by Tony's sniffles as the elevator ascends to Steve's floor. 

Steve immediately heads for the bedroom they set up for Tony when he's being little. It's pretty simple so far: a changing table, two toy boxes, a rocking chair, a kid's bed that's large enough to accommodate an adult. Instead of the changing table, he opts to lay a mat down on the bed before settling Tony down on top of it. He's not sure how long Tony will be in his little headspace, so a diaper seems like the safest bet.

Thor takes a seat on the bed beside Tony's head and smiles down at him. Tony's stuffed lion is at the head of the bed, and Thor picks it up and shakes it gently. Tony's eyes focus on the lion instantly and he reaches for it, huffing through his nose when Thor wiggles the toy just out of reach. 

It's enough of a distraction to make getting Tony's shoes, boxers and jeans off easily, and Steve's grateful for it. He makes quick work of getting a diaper on Tony, and Thor hands the beloved toy over just as Steve is tugging a pair of softer pants up Tony's legs. Tony grabs onto his lion and hugs it tightly, eyes squeezing shut, and Thor chuckles and ruffles his hair.

"He reminds me of Loki when he was a child," Thor says in response to Steve's curious look. "He often fussed when it was time for him to be cleaned. I was particularly adept at distracting him and making sure that he didn't cause explosions with his magic."

"I bet he was a little terror," Steve says cautiously, because even after everything, Thor is notoriously protective of his brother.

Fortunately, Thor grins. "That he was. But all children are like that, especially when they are young and just want to be loved."

"Yeah. I haven't been doing so great at that, apparently," Steve mutters, looking down at Tony. Tony's not looking at either of them. His face is still wet with tears, but at least he's not crying anymore. He grabs a baby wipe and carefully cleans Tony's face off.

Thor sighs and stands up, clapping a hand on Steve's shoulder. "I would be more judgmental if making the right choice were always black and white. You have made mistakes. So have I. I've learned that what matters from here on out is how you make up for them. It's a lesson that you would do well to learn, Captain. Our friend has given you a great honor, one that I don't see him giving to anyone else. You would be wise to handle this honor with the care it deserves."

"I know," Steve says past the lump in his throat. "I know, I've fucked up."

"Regret is useless," Thor says, not unkindly. "And will do little to soothe the little one's fears. You can't change the past now." His expression creases momentarily with grief, which disappears as fast as it comes. "You have a chance. Don't waste it."

Steve stays where he is as Thor walks out of the room, closing the door behind him. His eyes burn, and he lets a couple of tears slip free as he sits and then lays down on the bed so that he and Tony are looking at each other. Or they would be if Tony's eyes weren't still firmly shut. He looks so vulnerable right now. And the thing is, when Tony's an adult he's got so many masks and they're all strong that it's easy to forget this is what's inside.

"Tony," he whispers. "Tony, I am _so_ sorry. I know I've said that to you before, but I didn't get it then. What I'd done. What we'd done. Fuck, I came to you and I asked you to let him into the Tower and... and you did, even though you were scared of him. Of us. Of what he might do. Shit, baby boy, no wonder you didn't sleep that well for the whole first month we were living here."

He can't stop himself from reaching out to touch Tony, just to make sure Tony's still here with him. He slides his thumb across Tony's jaw and sighs. "I wish you had told me. I understand why you didn't want to say anything, but all that time - and even now, you're still worried. You've held it in for so long you literally couldn't hold it anymore... you'd probably still be holding it in if you could." He adds that last part under his breath, but that doesn't make it any less true.

Not that it's surprising. Apparently Tony expected him to take Bucky's side. That stings more than Steve wants it to. It's take a hell of a lot of work to for him and Tony to get their friendship back, and then for that friendship to become something more. The better part of three years has been spent getting them to this point in time. Bucky will always be Steve's best friend, and Steve would gladly die for him, but Tony is... _Tony_ , and that means more than Steve has the words to express.

"I love you," Steve says, and Tony's eyes fly open. "I love you so much, Tony. I meant it when I said I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. That includes Bucky. He's made so much progress... I guess I try to tell myself that there's no chance he could slip or revert back to how he was then. But the truth is I can't know that for sure. But you should know that if he ever tries to hurt you, I'll stop him."

Tony watches him, silent and wary. Steve leans forward, pressing their foreheads together, until he can't even properly focus on Tony's eyes. "I promise. I will never stand by and let anyone, even Bucky, attack you. It's one of the things in my life I regret the most. I shouldn't have let it get that far. I know that doesn't mean much, but it's the truth."

"He's my friend," Tony mumbles around the pacifier, words slurred, but Steve still gets it, and hearing the echo of those words he said so long ago is painful.

"I know he's your friend. Bucky knows that, too. This doesn't change anything. You have a right to feel what you feel, sweetheart. You can't just switch your emotions off no matter how much you try." Steve tries for a weak laugh. He's not sure he succeeds.

"Sorry," Tony whispers then, and Steve shakes his head.

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault." He kisses Tony's forehead, overwhelmed with how much he loves this man, and pulls Tony into a hug. Tony clings to him, shoulders shaking a little, lion cub trapped between them.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs against Tony's hair. "I'll pay more attention in the future. Please don't force yourself to do things that you're not ready for, or that you're not okay with, for me, okay? This is your home. You have a right to feel safe here."

"I don't want Bucky to leave," Tony says into his chest.

"Then he won't." Steve's a little relieved to hear that, admittedly, even though he would have understood if Tony had wanted Bucky to go. He hugs Tony tighter and rubs his back, reflecting on how just badly he's screwed up over the years. And here Tony is, giving him another chance. Steve doesn't know why, but he'll never stop being grateful for Tony's huge heart.

He's not sure how long they lay there together for before there's a gentle knock on the door. Bruce sticks his head, glancing at the two of them. A smile brightens the shadows on his face, and he leans against the doorframe.

"Bucky is downstairs. He'd like to see Tony, if Tony is up for it."

Tony tenses instantly and Steve shushes him, shaking his head at Bruce. "I don't think that's a good idea right now -"

"No, I wanna see him," says Tony, pacifier falling from his mouth.

"Tony -"

"Daddy, please." Tony looks at him with those big brown eyes Steve has _never_ been able to say no to, and he can practically feel his resolve crumbling away. Maybe someday he'll learn to say no to his baby boy, but it seems today is not that day.

"Are you sure?" he says. "Tony, it's understandable if you need a few days away. You don't have to. We can stay up here, watch a movie together, have a bottle and bedtime..." He lets his voice trail off, because he knows how much Tony loves having a bottle before his nap or bedtime - almost as much as Steve loves giving it to him. It's a special bonding time between the two of them.

For a moment Tony visibly waivers, but then he shakes his head. "Please, Daddy?"

Steve looks at Bruce, who shrugs, and sighs. "Okay. C'mere." He slides off the bed and scoops Tony up effortlessly, not surprised when Tony keeps clutching his toy lion. That was the first stuffed toy he ever gave Tony, and it's a prized possession, right up there with the bunny from Pepper and the gazelle from Rhodey.

Bruce and Thor accompany them back into the elevator. Tony is clearly more relaxed with their presence, though he's still nervous. His grip on the lion tightens as JARVIS opens the elevator's doors. Steve hitches him a little higher as the three of them step out together. Tony obligingly hooks his knees over Steve's hips, surprisingly not squirming to get down, and turns his head to look.

He sees Bucky instantly, standing beside Natasha in front of the television, and tenses a little more. Steve presses a reassuring kiss to the side of his head, noticing that Clint and Sam are standing in the doorway of the kitchen - hanging back for now, but close enough to intervene if something goes wrong. Every thought that Steve had earlier about what a fantastic team he has is suddenly magnified.

Bucky glances at Steve, then focuses on Tony. "I'm sorry," he says, voice low and hoarse. "I didn't - I never said that. For what happened. I was really screwed up at the time. I won't say I didn't know what I was doing, 'cause I did. And that's why I won't do it again. Everyone was the enemy to me back then except for Stevie. I know better now."

Tony just looks at him and doesn't say a word.

This time, Bucky looks at Natasha. She elbows him in the side. He winces and finally brings his metal hand out from behind his back, revealing that he's holding a stuffed puppy. A stuffed puppy dressed in a suspiciously familiar World War II uniform, complete with dog tags that say 'Captain Ruff' and a little cap pulled down over the floppy blond ears. 

It's adorable. Bucky holds the toy out sheepishly, gaze flicking from Steve to Tony. "It doesn't make up for anything, I know, but... when my little sister used to cry, a toy always made her feel better. Didn't have to be new, of course, but all your toys are upstairs, so I ran out with Natasha and..." He stops speaking entirely when Tony reaches out one hand, lightning-quick, and grabs the puppy. 

Tony brings the puppy back against his chest, beside the lion, and stares down at it. His fingers rub at the puppy's ears, and he shivers, which means the fur must be very soft. He smacks his lips, which means he's about two seconds from sucking on his thumb if Steve doesn't find him a pacifier, and shyly whispers, "Thanks." 

"You're welcome," Bucky says, swallowing hard.

Tony blinks at him, tucks the puppy into the curve of his elbow with the lion cub, and brings his hand up near his face, thumb trailing across his lips. He won't suck it, not deep enough in his headspace yet to do it around everyone else, but he wants to. Steve shifts him automatically to better trap the toys and meets Bucky's eye briefly, ducking his head in a nod.

"I think we're gonna head back upstairs," he announces to the room in general. "It's been a long day."

"And I, for one, am bushed," Clint says, throwing an arm around Sam's shoulders. "Bedtime all around, yeah?"

Sam shrugs his arm off. "Not sure why you're looking at me when you say that. _I'm_ going to bed alone."

"Spoilsport."

Steve smiles to himself, slipping back into the elevator. This time it's just him and Tony. He cuddles the sleepy baby in his arms, loving the way that Tony leans into him so trustingly. They'll have to talk more about this when Tony comes out of his headspace, of course. But for right now, he just wants to give Tony a bottle and then go to bed and not think about just how close he came to never being able to do that again.

"Love you, baby boy," he whispers.

Tony yawns, making a sweet sound like a kitten, and nuzzles into him, mumbling, "Love you too, Daddy."

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://tsuki-chibi.tumblr.com/).


End file.
